Coaching The Business Family
In reading a PhD dissertation recently on the importance of training international companies, the author stated that nearly 50% of American expatriates fail to complete the full length of their overseas assignment. Adding to this staggering figure is the fact that nearly 25% of American expatriates returning to their US organizations leave within one year.
Reasons for expatriate failure cited was (a) inability of the spouse to adjust, (b) manager’s inability to adjust, (c) other family reasons, (d) manager’s personal or emotional maturity (e) inability to cope with the larger overseas responsibility. This study confirms what a group of businessmen I met with last week told me over breakfast. One guy stated that his greatest challenge living overseas was keeping his wife and kids happy. One lady, whose husband works for the American Embassy, told my wife, “I hate it here and can’t wait to leave.”
The old adage that “If Momma isn’t happy, no one is happy,” is not just an off the cuff comment, it’s a real issue that needs to be addressed when talking about coaching or preparing people for an overseas assignment. Here are some suggestions I give to people and companies preparing to live overseas.
Family Training - Since the company is going to the expense to relocate the whole family, it’s reasonable to include the whole family in preparing them to live overseas, not just the employee. Apart from the technical side of the business, husbands, wives and even children, should have a strong course on issues of culture shock, culture etiquette, communication and worldview. True the family is not a part of the company team, but the family goes to the field as a unit. Success is measured by the whole, not the parts. If the family is only a half or third prepared (or however many kids are involved), the company risks the whole coming off the field.
It is at this juncture that one-on-coaching is invaluable. I have counseled many people to revaluate their overseas assignment because the wife, husband or children were resistant to living in a foreign country. It’s not a great idea for children who are teen-agers to send them overseas. If there are marital problems or the kids are not well adjusted in the their home country, living overseas won’t solve the problem, it will just exasperate it. An experienced coach can easily spot potential family problems.
Timing – If at all possible, send people for assignment when the weather is at its best, not its worse. I knew of a family who arrived in Russia in January, when the daylight hours were short and snow was ten feet high. They lasted three months. I wouldn’t send anyone to India in May or June (the hottest months of the year) or Chile in August, the coldest time of the year. Adjustment is tough enough without battling the elements.
Family Involvement – The employee must be encouraged to get their family involved in the local culture. Learning language, being introduced to community activities, giving the spouse a position as a volunteer, either in the company or with some NGO program, allows the husband or wife to have meaning. A company who provides the spouse with just a good apartment, maid and driver is not meeting the needs of family. Everybody needs a reason to belong.
Take a Break - Instruct your workaholic employee to mind the family as well as the business. Weekends to the coast, going to a concert, sightseeing is good for the employee, it’s good for the family, it's good for business.
Carry On - What does the spouse enjoy doing in their home country -- painting, playing golf, singing, watching movies? These activities should not be discontinued just because they are overseas. I know a lady who has a marvelous voice and who has joined an international choir in the city. Another spouse loves animals and finds her outlet through interaction with dog lovers. Children also adjust when they are involved in art and local sports programs. Transfer hobbies and interest overseas.
Living overseas, interacting with culture is not easy. Stress is compounded if the family doesn’t adjust. Training/coaching won’t solve all the answers, but it could be a key component in making an overseas assignment a success, and that contributes to the bottom line.
Reasons for expatriate failure cited was (a) inability of the spouse to adjust, (b) manager’s inability to adjust, (c) other family reasons, (d) manager’s personal or emotional maturity (e) inability to cope with the larger overseas responsibility. This study confirms what a group of businessmen I met with last week told me over breakfast. One guy stated that his greatest challenge living overseas was keeping his wife and kids happy. One lady, whose husband works for the American Embassy, told my wife, “I hate it here and can’t wait to leave.”
The old adage that “If Momma isn’t happy, no one is happy,” is not just an off the cuff comment, it’s a real issue that needs to be addressed when talking about coaching or preparing people for an overseas assignment. Here are some suggestions I give to people and companies preparing to live overseas.
Family Training - Since the company is going to the expense to relocate the whole family, it’s reasonable to include the whole family in preparing them to live overseas, not just the employee. Apart from the technical side of the business, husbands, wives and even children, should have a strong course on issues of culture shock, culture etiquette, communication and worldview. True the family is not a part of the company team, but the family goes to the field as a unit. Success is measured by the whole, not the parts. If the family is only a half or third prepared (or however many kids are involved), the company risks the whole coming off the field.
It is at this juncture that one-on-coaching is invaluable. I have counseled many people to revaluate their overseas assignment because the wife, husband or children were resistant to living in a foreign country. It’s not a great idea for children who are teen-agers to send them overseas. If there are marital problems or the kids are not well adjusted in the their home country, living overseas won’t solve the problem, it will just exasperate it. An experienced coach can easily spot potential family problems.
Timing – If at all possible, send people for assignment when the weather is at its best, not its worse. I knew of a family who arrived in Russia in January, when the daylight hours were short and snow was ten feet high. They lasted three months. I wouldn’t send anyone to India in May or June (the hottest months of the year) or Chile in August, the coldest time of the year. Adjustment is tough enough without battling the elements.
Family Involvement – The employee must be encouraged to get their family involved in the local culture. Learning language, being introduced to community activities, giving the spouse a position as a volunteer, either in the company or with some NGO program, allows the husband or wife to have meaning. A company who provides the spouse with just a good apartment, maid and driver is not meeting the needs of family. Everybody needs a reason to belong.
Take a Break - Instruct your workaholic employee to mind the family as well as the business. Weekends to the coast, going to a concert, sightseeing is good for the employee, it’s good for the family, it's good for business.
Carry On - What does the spouse enjoy doing in their home country -- painting, playing golf, singing, watching movies? These activities should not be discontinued just because they are overseas. I know a lady who has a marvelous voice and who has joined an international choir in the city. Another spouse loves animals and finds her outlet through interaction with dog lovers. Children also adjust when they are involved in art and local sports programs. Transfer hobbies and interest overseas.
Living overseas, interacting with culture is not easy. Stress is compounded if the family doesn’t adjust. Training/coaching won’t solve all the answers, but it could be a key component in making an overseas assignment a success, and that contributes to the bottom line.
posted by RG Lewis at 10:30 AM
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